Coffee Quitters

Here’s a message to all of you who are trying to quit drinking coffee: Please don’t.

In the past couple of months, a number of my friends have been proclaiming their independence from coffee.  Where this is coming from all of the sudden, I do not know.  And I don’t agree with it one bit.  Coffee is GOOD!  It tastes good, it’s warm and comforting, and it gets you going.  It has a funny way of turning 7 a.m. into 11 a.m. in no time.  It’ll get you through your morning drive and your awaiting emails.  It will keep the morning drool from dripping on your notepad during the 8 a.m. meeting.  And, after a big carb-filled meal it’ll carry you through the 3:00 hour coma-free. 

“Why do you want to stop drinking coffee?” I ask every one of them.  The answer is always the same – because they don’t want to be dependent on caffeine to get through the day.  Now, if the answer was “because I want to detox,” or “because it makes me fat,” or “because I’m too wired to sleep,” I might understand.  But just because you don’t want to want to drink it anymore?  C’mon!

If you want to quit something, quit eating fattening food, quit gossiping about your coworkers, quit wasting your time in front of the television – but PLEASE, for the love of God, don’t stop drinking coffee.  For the sake of all of us who have to deal with you and your grumpy, decaffeinated be-hind, PLEASE stop quitting coffee.