brady bits

Preschoolers say the darndest things.  Here’s what mine says:

5.5.10

Put your hands here, on my heart.  Okay, but why?  Because I love you and I missed you so much.

Laying in my bed watching a movie in the evening on the first day back after six days with his dad.

3.18.10

55-5555.  You forgot the two.  Try again.  552-5555.  I DIDN’T FORGET THE TWO!  SEE! 55-5555.  You forgot the two again.  NO I DIDN’T!  You’re not listening to me!  LISTEN!  55-5555.  Good job.

Learning his phone number (or… not yet).

1.25.10

I can’t wait to meet him!  [From the kitchen counter, where he was eating grapes by himself, talking to no one.] Meet who, Brady? [I asked from the living room.] Jesus!

Sounds like not going to church is working out okay for me afterall.  Of course, my mom responded, “we can wait for you to meet him — no rush!”

1.6.10

My friends at school eat like that.  I will have to have a talk with them about it.

Response to me telling him to chew with his mouth closed.

12.17.09

Mom, Santa came to my school today, AND HE WASN’T FAT!!

Telling me about his day over the phone.

12.14.09

I HATE when I don’t get mail!

Every day when we get home from work/school, Brady gets the mail.  He always asks if there’s anything for him.  Lately, with his birthday, Christmas and Highlights magazine, the answer has been “yes.”  But when I answered “Nope,” today, this is the response I got.

12.2.09

Mom, feel my muscles. [feel his muscles.] Wow!  Those are big muscles.  You must be drinking a lot of milk! Yep.  I love milk!  I drank this many milk. [stretches arms out wide.] Say “much”… when you’re talking about milk. I drank this many milk much.

Hangin’ out with mom and Auntie.

11.29.09

Milk makes us strong, right? Sure does. Mom, I love milk.  It is so alicious. Good!  I’m glad to hear it. It is good because it’s from a cow.  Not like the other milk, right? [No idea what he's talking about.] Uh huh. Well, the man on the farm, he squeezes the cow’s penis and the pee comes out and then it is milk and it is alicious and it goes in our muscles and makes us strong. [Ummm...]

At the dinner table, courtesy of the Bearnstein Bears.

10.12.09 (going back in time because I had just stumbled across this text from his dad that I had forgotten about)

After I’m done with my Polish, I can have pizza, right?  That would be a breat idea, right?

While devouring a foot-long Polish sausage at Costco with his dad.  He said “my Polish”!!!  What is he, a 35-year-old Chicago Labor Union Worker!?

10.25.09

Is it light out by your house mom?  Yes, it’s light out here. Oh.  It’s light out at my house, too!

We were talking on the phone yesterday – I think he is trying to connect the dots of how I am living life in the same time but a different place when he is with his dad.

10.17.09

 I’m so mad!  I’m gonna say a bad word!

Spewed at his dad when he was angry because his dad told him no to something he wanted.

10.16.09

Mom?  You look so hot!

This was while we were having our morning snuggle time today.  Needless to say, I had to explain that while it was nice for him to compliment me, this isn’t something he should say to his mom.  I told him he can call me pretty and “booful” all he wants, just not hot.  That one threw me!

10.10.09

Doug? Yesss??  We are watching football. Yep.  Doug? Yesss??  I have a penis. Yes, you do.  We both have penises. Yes, we do. [pause to watch some of the Illinois game.] Mall a dem have penises too. [points to the screen.]  Yep.  Boys have penises.  Not girls though… Girls?  …chinas.

He’ll kill me for that some day.

10.10.09

Mom, c’mere.  I gotta tell you a frecret. [yes, frecret.] I love you and I promise I always gonna love you.  Because you and me, we love each other.

Which pretty much negated every time he whined or defied me the whole day prior.  Uh-oh.  Maybe he knows that.

10.06.09

Ohmigosh.  You are driving me CRAAAAZZZYYYY!

Directed at me in “The Children’s Place” when I kept giving him different mittens to try after he had already decided which pair he wanted that totally DO NOT match the hat!

All the time

What the pickles!?

As in, “What on Earth!?

09.27.09

Oh, geez-a-leez!

Don’t tell Louise.  She might be offended.